as long as you're happy
by SiriusMarauderFan
Summary: Phoebe Black adapts to their new life as a man. Trans!Phoebe, one shot.


**Author's Note:** Thanks to my beautiful new team and cheerleaders for their support and betaing. And to Captain Amber, for sharing some of her headcanons.

Written for…

Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition. _Team/Position:_ Falmouth Falcons, Seeker. _Task:_ Write about a transgender character (Phoebe)

Hogwarts Assignment #8. _Lesson:_ Sociology, task 4. _Task:_ Write about someone who identifies as a gender identity outside of what they were assigned at birth.

* * *

**as long as you're happy**

_1,033 words_

* * *

The little town of Whitby was just what the Black brothers had been looking for. The people were welcoming and quick to return a friendly smile or wave, but the moment his back was turned, whispers followed the younger boy.

No one was brave enough to say anything to his face, but he caught the occasional snicker as he passed by crowds on his way home from the market.

"_Such an odd boy."_

"_His voice…"_

"_...the way he walks…"_

He kept his head down the rest of the way to the small house they'd bought, feeling the sudden need to hide.

Eduardus was already home for the book shop when the boy slipped inside with the groceries.

"Hello, brother," he greeted cheerfully, rushing to help with the heavy bags. The moment their eyes locked, his smile faded. "What's wrong?"

"Everyone thinks I'm odd."

Eduardus' face darkened, like their father's always did when a punishment was imminent. But there was no need to fear Eduardus. He was tall, and many were scared of him for his imposing figure, but he was a sweetheart unless someone hurt his favorite sibling.

"Who was it? What did they say, Phoebe?"

And there was the problem, really, Phoebe realized as he flinched at his own name.

He had managed to change so much about himself since running away from Grimmauld place. The reflection staring back at him in the entryway mirror was usually enough to make him smile. Dark hair cropped short in a way that would horrify Mother. Eduardus had taught him a good concealment charm that he was able to use daily on his chest, and combined with some of his brother's altered hand me down clothes, Phoebe felt like a completely different person to the little girl who had let herself be dressed up and paraded about like a doll.

"It's nothing I haven't said about myself. I'm not a man, Ed, no matter how much I want to be."

"Don't be silly. You're just as much a man as I am," Eduardus said firmly. He set the groceries down and returned to Phoebe's side, gently pulling his brother to the sofa. "Now, how can we fix this? What can I do?"

Phoebe shook his head, unsure of what more could be done. He didn't have the luxury of years' worth of magical learning under his belt. He'd been kept at home with his sisters, being taught a few useful household spells, and now spent his evenings practicing the charms Eduardus taught him. He had no friends, had never met anyone like him. As far as he knew, there wasn't anyone like him.

"I hate my name," he admitted quietly, staring down at his hands. His heart raced, as if saying those words would incite a punishment. Back with his parents, it might have. "_They_ gave it to me. To a girl. I hate it."

"Then we change it. Simple."

Eduardus strode to one of his many bookshelves and pulled a Muggle novel from it, flipping it open to a random page. He scanned it for a moment, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "Victor?"

Phoebe mulled it over, imagining himself answering to the name whenever someone called. "I don't think it's me."

Eduardus nodded, flipping a few pages. "Michael? Alexander?"

"Neither." He sighed. "Is there … maybe something that sounds close to Phoebe? Or at least starts with a P? I think it's going to be hard enough learning to answer to a new name."

"Right. Just a moment." The older brother shelved the book and searched for another. "Percival? No. Too pretentious. Peter?"

"No."

"Philip?"

"Philip… Philip Black." Phoebe smiled to himself. "I love it."

:-:

"I'm so glad winter is done. It's good to feel warmth again," Eduardus commented as they walked to their favorite fishing spot, rods slung over their shoulders.

Philip couldn't agree more. This was his first spring free of a corset and heavy skirts, and he was loving the feeling of the gentle breeze tousling his short locks. He smiled to himself. There was a certain freedom to being a man that he wasn't sure even Eduardus understood, never knowing any different.

It was still early when they cast off in the lake by their house, but they were far from the only people out.

"Good morning, Philip," greeted Mary Ellen, the baker's pretty young daughter. She waved at him as she passed on her morning walk.

"Hi," Philip said in return, feeling his cheeks grow warm.

"She fancies you," Eduardus told him after Mary Ellen was out of earshot.

"Don't be absurd."

"You're a handsome man, brother. This shouldn't come as a surprise to you."

And yet it did. There was still a part of Philip that struggled with his upbringing, that instinctively wanted to correct Eduardus, that he wasn't a man. But the part of him that delighted in the words outweighed it and he smiled at the compliment.

"Romance is not on my mind at the present. I've much more important things to sort out first."

His brother nodded, conceding the point. "Have you heard back from the Ministry yet?"

"No. I expect they're looking into my family claim. I doubt they'll help me anyhow. They will still see what I once was. I'll be lucky if they allow me to take up a secretarial position."

Eduardus scowled. "They'd be fools not to see your potential. A little more studying and you'll be a better wizard than I am."

"If all else fails, I wouldn't mind staying here in Whitby, really." He paused as he easily reeled in a small fish. "I think I could be happy here. Perhaps I could start a farm."

"You'd be happy with that? A waste of your talents, if you ask me."

Philip shook his head, chuckling at his brother's look of disgust. "I enjoy nature, as much as you enjoy those dusty old books you spend all your time with."

"The shop is significantly less dusty since I've been working there, thank you very much." Eduardus let out a long sigh. "I'm proud of you, whatever you do with your life, brother. As long as you're happy."

Philip smiled. "I am."


End file.
